Mommy’s Hands
They were supposed to be soft, supple and sweet; only I knew what they turned into once the lights went out. If I heard her coming down the stairs, I knew it would be a long night. I couldn’t seem to keep her away no matter how hard I tried. It’s like my 4 year old body was the tracks and her hands were the train. The smoke that came from her engine represented my thoughts fading away. Soon the sun would come up, and I would pretend that none of this happened, until all of the thoughts came flooding back when the lights went out. It seemed to be a vicious cycle, but then she left, and have been gone since.
My dad came with his Superman cape on and saved me without knowing what happened at night. Since I had blocked out so many of the memories that took place, I flinched without any explanation when anyone put a hand near me. Since I was so naive, I actually started to miss my mother. Anger, jealousy, depression and denial grew over the years of her absence. I had to grow up and watch my friends’ mothers love their children, care for them, and treat them as equals instead of abusing them. I would joke to cope with things, and then I would cry because I could never understand what happened or why it did. But now that she’s gone, I can find clarity, and that is what I am searching for.
My biggest lesson I have learned in the eight years of my mother's absence is forgiveness. Learning to live without the person that has given me life is the hardest adjustment I have ever experienced, but no one deserves to go through daily hits, and threats, hurtful words and the nights of being abused. Growing up as a female with just a dad, has been tough. Being my father’s only child, he was stunned and unsure if he could raise me on his own. There have been many ups and downs upon reaching big milestones in my life, but we have always gotten through it. Learning things by myself has taught me how to be more independent and aware, and that is my most recognizable trait to others.
My childhood sparked a light inside of me and helped me learn what I want to do in college. I have always loved working with children and have always wanted them to be a huge factor of my career. Helping and putting everyone before myself has been a trait I have had since I was younger so I decided to search for a career that put those two factors of my life in one. I researched for hours and found Therapeutic Speech Pathology. This job helps me make a child’s life a little better if I can help with their speech. With learning sign language, and using the communication skills I have obtained and will learn in the future, I can change so many children’s lives, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.
My mother’s absence has taught me how to look at the world in a new point of view. If I were raised any different, or if I grew up without the memories she gave me, I would not be who I am today. Overcoming my past is my motivation in the career path I want to take. In spite of her, I learned how to love and find trust in other people when they came along. I am forever grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, no matter how painful the experiences were.
These are my free writes
Freewrite (choice 1)
In the past year, multiple people have been sharing their short stories with me about their political experiences. I have always been very eager to learn about many things, but politics was not one of them. I was never raised around super political people but I decided that I’m old enough now to form my own opinion and I should gain knowledge about the world around me, especially now. But, with the world we currently live in, I often hear people’s two cents about their political beliefs and they often share short stories about the opposite party that they don't agree with. I wish I could count how many times I’ve heard such negative words about the parties and it leaves me so conflicted because I want to be able to form my own opinion but I can’t with the loads of false information I receive from hateful people.
Freewrite Jordan Jones’s essay:
This essay really interested me. I liked how it included rules and guidelines to their “non standard english” and I like how it broke the rules to “standard english”. When the students are talking about how they do not understand their reading assignment because it wasn’t “White english”, I was embarrassed to be familiar with what they were saying. Some of my teacher’s in the past who have given us similar readings often called their speech “slang” when we read it and explained it would be difficult to understand but I have found that I like the way that they portrayed the writing much better. I found it humorous how they had a few pages of translations of white english and then the black english right under it. Reading this essay, I was slightly reminded of the story, “It’s Complicated” because that story spoke upon how our society is ever changing and I feel like our writing style is a part of that. This story helped normalize and helped the readers understand that it is okay to write differently than the standard.
Imaginative writing
The composers conversation (imaginative)
Lyiscott, Jordan and Boyd
Having lunch at a local diner, all three composers sit and discuss their pieces
Lyiscott: I never imagined that our pieces would have been compared but there must be something that makes our audiences think they’re alike.. But since we are all here let’s brainstorm and discuss our similar ideas.
Jordan: In my piece of writing, I discussed two different topics but in the beginning I talked about how a teacher was in her class trying to teach a play. The play is performed by black people and my black students didn’t understand their language, so I decided to teach them about “Black English”
Jolie: Hi, sorry to interrupt but I have to ask.. What is “Black English”?
Jordan: In other words, “non-standard” english. It doesn’t sound as formal as other books written by white authors.
Boyd: That actually ties perfectly into what my piece was about! Though I mostly talked about social media, I stated that the media is ever changing and there’s always something new coming out. Our “english” is evolving!
Lyiscott: I had a discussion generally about code changes. I talked to my audience about how I speak differently to my parents versus when I talk to my friends or how I speak to my teachers versus a post on social media.
Jolie: I think all of your pieces really tie together in some way. Did you ever think about it before? Do you think the topics you all talked about should be brought up more?
Boyd: I don’t think that these topics are talked about often enough because people are obviously afraid to be their authentic selves. If we have so many code changes like Lyiscott said, how do we know which “code” is really who we are? Shouldn’t it be normalized to have one code?
Jordan: I agree, though I feel that I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t slightly disagree with you. I taught my students a whole different “code” to have in the classroom when I taught black english. With teaching them their spoken language on paper, I feel that I taught them a different, more comfortable way to act around me, but not their true selves yet even though it’s closer than what it was.
Lyiscott: I can see where you both are coming from with your points but I personally think that code changes are something that we as humans will always have. I think it’s a form of comfort and normality.
Comments
Post a Comment